A word on jumping.

When we trod on grounds built from the residues of disappointment... We walk with care. We move forward with reservations, we make way for the very floors upon which we walk, to capsize without notice... Life experience keeps teaching us the areas of our lives where we cannot afford to be "uninsured" or without security. Strangely enough though, these are also the very same areas that require of us to break free from the constant concern and obsession over the unstable floor. These areas depend on our willingness to have total disregard of the idea of things possibly going wrong. Dilemma much?

In moving through both these spaces - of caution and of "courage"- we GROW.
So this week passed...I have grown a little. Lol.

The scars of disappointment, though very hurtful, build us. They teach us subtle (sometimes extreme) lessons not about the world, and other people...but about ourselves. They highlight the things about ourselves that need to be worked on and the pockets of our reflections that need tweaking. How we handle ourselves in moments of disappointment, and how we recover from them, writes the scripts of our characters.

And it is the strong character that inspires our courage to risk disappointment to win freedom, to win happiness...to GROW!

I do not jump off of cliffs (we're speaking metaphorically... Just in case there are those already squinting at why I would assume that that would even be a natural thing for me to be pointing out. I mean Theri of course you don't jump off of cliffs), I have issues with with not being on solid ground. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do anything extreme... I'm that girl who feels it is her duty to tend to everyone she holds dear, to cater to anyone I appoint as one of my cherished ones. Look I can't help it, I'm a nurturer at heart...this is just what I do...I nurture. Can I not be judged please. With that said, to me, making a decision to be a little selfish is a big deal for me...I tend to feel very guilty about doing things that benefit no one other than me (I know), but I did it anyway AND IT WAS DELIGHTFUL AND FREEING. I bought a milk tart knowing full well I'm the only one in this place who eats it... No I'm just kidding...it was much bigger than that...it was a chocolate cake...

...No I'm just kidding, lol, it was an actual, serious matter that would later result in someone taking note that I will not be sacrificing any of my smiles for any longer (serious grown bi'nis hehehe).

I jumped, I smiled, I GREW! That should just about some up my emotional state of mind for the week.

Lesson learnt: to allow yourself the luxury of joy, you will have to open to liberating yourself from the routine habits that have crowned you a "push over". By all means, love, give, care and nurture...freely so, but under no means does any of this have to translate into relationships or friendships where you either give OR take as opposed to give AND take. Put your foot down! Let people know that if you are to go above and beyond for them, their failure to appreciate this act WILL result in this privelledge being taken away. BE HAPPY!...IT'S ALLOWED...IT'S VITAL.