It's funny how things work out though... Its strange how the unveiling of one little factor, one point, one truth, one admission, one...what's another word? Uhhhmm...discovery!...yes that sounds just about right...one discovery, can change just about every opinion, every thought, every thing.
My years in the "care taker" role have left me under the illusion that I am "needed"... A sad discovery for a brooding young lady, lol. the reality is though that it is not in every situation, conversation or decision that my "care"...my "sensible words"...my "ear" is NEEDED... And seriously...it can never be that way, I mean, that's just not how the world works...for anyone. Alas *sighs*... Superwoman is human afterall.
And that's been my biscuit and tea for the week (I have somehow started referring to "points to ponder" and "thoughts" as "biscuits and tea"...I don't know why...there is absolutely no way for me to explain how I landed at this... But it sounds kind of sophisticated I think, lol, "biscuits and tea"), I have had to sit down with myself and admit that I too (lovely as I am) am no different from everyone around me, in the basic sense. I AM HUMAN.
I hurt, I love, I laugh, I pain... I FEEL.
That last bit "I FEEL" is something I have battled to admit for a long time. I let everyone else admit it, and tend to everyones feelings, but never to my own. I am always in a hurry to make sure that everyone is "not offended" or "disappointed" or "sad"...and I seldomly tend to myself with the same readiness, the same urgency, the same care.
I have FELT guilty, I have felt OFFENDED, I have FELT stranded...but I have also FELT joy, I have also FELT relief, I have also FELT wanted. What a colourful spectrum of emotions this week passed has brought...so Theri what did you do last week... I LET MYSELF FEEL *exhales*...(*sings* but there comes a point wheeeen...you will exhale -yeah yeah- saaaaay: shooop shoop shoop...lol, I'll get help for that).
But!!!!
I have been meditating... I quite like the idea of stillness, of smiling and of breathing...all in unison. And I have decided it would be best to STOP FIGHTING. It is immensely tiring to go to war and fight in everyones battles. It's a heavy task trying to keep everyones lives in balance, not to mention...very stressful.
And I have no-one to blame but myself for this. I've just realised (and by "just" I mean it's taken years to come to this realisation, but nevertheless, I am here, lol)... Anyway, I have JUST realised, that no-one has actually ASKED me to fight for them, to balance their worlds and to be the gate keeper in their lives. I have been subconsciously VOLUNTEERING to put "me" on hold...to take care of "all".
*say whaaaaaaaaat?* so it might come as a relief to them who have been affected by my appointing myself president of the world (though I seriously hope they will be disappointed... I pray they will be sad for I have a deep need to be needed and if everyone is ok with this or , heaven forbid, glad... I 'd be CRUSHED! Devastated even, lol) that I am stepping down from this position (I do fear though that they may not be able to survive if I stepped down...there may be war and famine and chaos if I leave...oh who am I kidding!)...but that is it though... My informal resignation *whoooossssaaaaahhh*
I've been excersizing too...that's going well... Some days I don't want to, but i force myself to do it (except saturday and sunday... I don't work on weekends *pouts*)
A word on exercise:
I HATE EXERCISE!... But I LOVE FOOD more than I hate exercise, so love overpowers hate (as with all things) and therefore, to allow myself to relish in this love... I shall conquer the hate *sighs*.
So from this all... Going forth... My plan (that I have just decided on...and this time I mean "just" the real just as in now now, typing this out) I am going to fulfill my duties and my responsibilities to SELF!... I have back pays in love worth paying up. Lol. I love me and I love you all (but I am no longer president, lol) *kisses*
Tuesday, 13 September 2011
Coach Yourself to live well...words by Fiona Harrold.
"When the going gets tough and the pressure's on, its not necessarily the talented ones who rise to the challenge, it's the one's who love themselves.
Liking yourself and feeling you deserve a great life is absolutely fundamental to your success. In fact, you could even be living a great life but, because you don't like yourself enough, you'll feel unable to enjoy it and make the most of it. The more you see yourself as a good person, the more powerful you become and the more you're a force for good in the world. And the world needs good people. Secondly, good people deserve to live the best possible life. They've earned it. Good people are the most likely to dislike themselves. The reason for this is that they desire to do good, to do the right thing, to cause no harm or suffering to another living being.
Your sense of who you are is overwhelmingly shaped by the individuals around you. You believe what you're told to believe by the authority figures in your life. And, you're trapped in that environment, however gruesome it may be.
And the most bizarre thing is this: it's overwhelmingly the negative input we hold onto and regard as true.
Deep inside of all of us, there's someone we were meant to be. But, too often, we define ourselves by our circumstances and feel great only if things are going well. If life goes badly, we feel worthless or look to other things or people or the "perfect" job to define us and prop up our self-esteem. We discover our true identities by finding out what we want -or don't want- to do.
Unless you've consciously detoxed your mind, then assume you have impacted waste material festering away in your psyche, the result of years upon years of accumulated junk messages absorbed by you from the outset. In order for you to feel clean and wholesome, you have to root this out. The alternative is to live with chronic, low-level uncertainty about yourself. Undermining your aliveness, your personal power and effectiveness in the world.
LOVE YOU!
Right here, right now, make the decision to appreciate yourself more, give credit where its due, talk yourself up. Cultivate kindness, compassion and respect - FOR YOU! Face the truth: you came into this world on your own and you will leave it on your own. At some time in between, it makes sense to get comfortable with yourself. It's your life. Answer to yourself, hold yourself accountable...start on that NOW!
Don't ever demean yourself in public or private. Drop all false modesty. Speak only well of yourself. Exude self-confidence.
CHANGE THE RECORD!
Whose opinions and thoughts are stuck in your mind? If they're not yours, don't hold onto them. You're a grown-up now. You can think your own thoughts, you can choose what to give room to. It doesn't matter how long some stuff has been there: if it's toxic, get rid of it. Only you get to decide what to believe about yourself. You're a work in progress. Be yourself. Be whoever you like. You decide, then live it.
Liking yourself is your birthright. Maintaining it requires momentum. Continually give yourself good reasons to like yourself. Remind yourself who you really are. Be everything you desire and admire in others.
Spoil yourself. Spend some quality time with you. Chill out with your new best friend - YOU!
Discover your hidden depths, your likes and dislikes, entertain yourself. If you don't find yourself good company, how can others?
You'll give off a far better air about yourself if you pay attention to grooming.
Grooming speaks volumes. Look immaculate. Smell divine. Wear great underwear. Get "THE LOOK."
Appearances matter. Don't look neglected. If you don't have pride, nobody can give it to you. Make yourself downright irresistible. Judging by your own standards, you're fabulous, always compelling, immensely likeable, utterly loveable.
MOTIVATION!
Motivation is the master key to all success. You achieve little without it. It's the engine, the pump room of your desires, dreams and ambitions. It's the bridge between passion and action. You won't go far without it. Its good, it's destructive, it's powerful, its whatever you make it. Motivated people bring a certain urgency to the table, to their own lives and everyone else's. The power of motivation is undisputable."
Liking yourself and feeling you deserve a great life is absolutely fundamental to your success. In fact, you could even be living a great life but, because you don't like yourself enough, you'll feel unable to enjoy it and make the most of it. The more you see yourself as a good person, the more powerful you become and the more you're a force for good in the world. And the world needs good people. Secondly, good people deserve to live the best possible life. They've earned it. Good people are the most likely to dislike themselves. The reason for this is that they desire to do good, to do the right thing, to cause no harm or suffering to another living being.
Your sense of who you are is overwhelmingly shaped by the individuals around you. You believe what you're told to believe by the authority figures in your life. And, you're trapped in that environment, however gruesome it may be.
And the most bizarre thing is this: it's overwhelmingly the negative input we hold onto and regard as true.
Deep inside of all of us, there's someone we were meant to be. But, too often, we define ourselves by our circumstances and feel great only if things are going well. If life goes badly, we feel worthless or look to other things or people or the "perfect" job to define us and prop up our self-esteem. We discover our true identities by finding out what we want -or don't want- to do.
Unless you've consciously detoxed your mind, then assume you have impacted waste material festering away in your psyche, the result of years upon years of accumulated junk messages absorbed by you from the outset. In order for you to feel clean and wholesome, you have to root this out. The alternative is to live with chronic, low-level uncertainty about yourself. Undermining your aliveness, your personal power and effectiveness in the world.
LOVE YOU!
Right here, right now, make the decision to appreciate yourself more, give credit where its due, talk yourself up. Cultivate kindness, compassion and respect - FOR YOU! Face the truth: you came into this world on your own and you will leave it on your own. At some time in between, it makes sense to get comfortable with yourself. It's your life. Answer to yourself, hold yourself accountable...start on that NOW!
Don't ever demean yourself in public or private. Drop all false modesty. Speak only well of yourself. Exude self-confidence.
CHANGE THE RECORD!
Whose opinions and thoughts are stuck in your mind? If they're not yours, don't hold onto them. You're a grown-up now. You can think your own thoughts, you can choose what to give room to. It doesn't matter how long some stuff has been there: if it's toxic, get rid of it. Only you get to decide what to believe about yourself. You're a work in progress. Be yourself. Be whoever you like. You decide, then live it.
Liking yourself is your birthright. Maintaining it requires momentum. Continually give yourself good reasons to like yourself. Remind yourself who you really are. Be everything you desire and admire in others.
Spoil yourself. Spend some quality time with you. Chill out with your new best friend - YOU!
Discover your hidden depths, your likes and dislikes, entertain yourself. If you don't find yourself good company, how can others?
You'll give off a far better air about yourself if you pay attention to grooming.
Grooming speaks volumes. Look immaculate. Smell divine. Wear great underwear. Get "THE LOOK."
Appearances matter. Don't look neglected. If you don't have pride, nobody can give it to you. Make yourself downright irresistible. Judging by your own standards, you're fabulous, always compelling, immensely likeable, utterly loveable.
MOTIVATION!
Motivation is the master key to all success. You achieve little without it. It's the engine, the pump room of your desires, dreams and ambitions. It's the bridge between passion and action. You won't go far without it. Its good, it's destructive, it's powerful, its whatever you make it. Motivated people bring a certain urgency to the table, to their own lives and everyone else's. The power of motivation is undisputable."
Dr Oz's 25 tips to weight loss.
1.Automate your eating by planning your meals ahead of time. That way you're less likely to make an unhealthy last-minute food choice.
2.Oats are your friends! Eating a cup of oatmeal in the morning will prevent you from gorging in the afternoon.
3.Foods with healthy fats such as olives, salmon and walnuts help you feel satisfied.
4.Skipping meals can cause your body to go into a fat-storing starvation mode, making it harder to burn calories.
5.Got nuts with nuts. Eating a handful of nuts will help you stay full. Try soaking them in water for a different texture.
6.Use meditation to help you cope with chronic stress, which can lead you to crave feel-good carbs.
7.You may be used to fried foods but there are other, sometimes healthier, ways to cook including: roasting, steaming, poaching, baking, braising and broiling.
8.Do your grocery shopping with a list and a time limit; that way, you're less likely to stray into the processed foods section.
9.Don't confuse thirst with hunger. Drink a glass of water when you feel hungry to see if that's what you're really craving.
10.When out at a restaurant, ask the server to hold the bread, snack mix or chips and salsa that might come before the meal. If you're hungry, you'll be tempted.
11.Tired of eating your salad on a plate? Fill a whole wheat pita with salad and a splash of lemon for a twist.
12.You might do better to replace an occasional dinner with a nice roll in the hay. Healthy sex may help control the amount of food you eat and it's great exercise.
13.Create emergency packs filled with healthy foods such as nuts, fruits or sliced vegetables to help you avoid unhealthy temptations.
14.Add red pepper flakes to your pantry. When eaten early in the day, red
pepper lowers the amount of food you'll eat later.
15.Odds are you're eating too fast. Try holding a conversation while having a meal so you're not gulping down more than you need to feel full.
16.Take a brisk walk before lunch or dinner. Not only will you get in some exercise, you're less likely to choose something unhealthy after a little movement.
17.Looking for the benefits of salmon but you don't feel comfortable cooking fish? Try canned salmon as a simple and affordable alternative.
18.Are your dishes too big? A healthy dinner should fit on a 9-inch plate. You may find that kid-sized plates are more appropriately sized to feed an adult!
19.Never eat any snack food out of the box, carton or bag it came in. You're less likely to overeat if you separate snacks into appropriate fist-sized servings.
20.Boost your metabolism with some green tea or chili peppers.
21.Get your Zzzzzs. Sleep deprivation alters levels of hormones in the body that regulate hunger, causing an increase in appetite.
22.Muscle burns at least four times as many calories as fat does, so try twenty minutes of strength straining two to three times a week.
23.Decaf coffee is a great low-calorie fluid when you're having cravings (and a great source of antioxidants).
24.Eating liquid-based foods such as natural smoothies and low-sodium soup can help you cut back on calories yet feel full.
25.A pedometer can help keep track of your steps. If you're not getting 10,000 steps a day, you're not moving enough.
2.Oats are your friends! Eating a cup of oatmeal in the morning will prevent you from gorging in the afternoon.
3.Foods with healthy fats such as olives, salmon and walnuts help you feel satisfied.
4.Skipping meals can cause your body to go into a fat-storing starvation mode, making it harder to burn calories.
5.Got nuts with nuts. Eating a handful of nuts will help you stay full. Try soaking them in water for a different texture.
6.Use meditation to help you cope with chronic stress, which can lead you to crave feel-good carbs.
7.You may be used to fried foods but there are other, sometimes healthier, ways to cook including: roasting, steaming, poaching, baking, braising and broiling.
8.Do your grocery shopping with a list and a time limit; that way, you're less likely to stray into the processed foods section.
9.Don't confuse thirst with hunger. Drink a glass of water when you feel hungry to see if that's what you're really craving.
10.When out at a restaurant, ask the server to hold the bread, snack mix or chips and salsa that might come before the meal. If you're hungry, you'll be tempted.
11.Tired of eating your salad on a plate? Fill a whole wheat pita with salad and a splash of lemon for a twist.
12.You might do better to replace an occasional dinner with a nice roll in the hay. Healthy sex may help control the amount of food you eat and it's great exercise.
13.Create emergency packs filled with healthy foods such as nuts, fruits or sliced vegetables to help you avoid unhealthy temptations.
14.Add red pepper flakes to your pantry. When eaten early in the day, red
pepper lowers the amount of food you'll eat later.
15.Odds are you're eating too fast. Try holding a conversation while having a meal so you're not gulping down more than you need to feel full.
16.Take a brisk walk before lunch or dinner. Not only will you get in some exercise, you're less likely to choose something unhealthy after a little movement.
17.Looking for the benefits of salmon but you don't feel comfortable cooking fish? Try canned salmon as a simple and affordable alternative.
18.Are your dishes too big? A healthy dinner should fit on a 9-inch plate. You may find that kid-sized plates are more appropriately sized to feed an adult!
19.Never eat any snack food out of the box, carton or bag it came in. You're less likely to overeat if you separate snacks into appropriate fist-sized servings.
20.Boost your metabolism with some green tea or chili peppers.
21.Get your Zzzzzs. Sleep deprivation alters levels of hormones in the body that regulate hunger, causing an increase in appetite.
22.Muscle burns at least four times as many calories as fat does, so try twenty minutes of strength straining two to three times a week.
23.Decaf coffee is a great low-calorie fluid when you're having cravings (and a great source of antioxidants).
24.Eating liquid-based foods such as natural smoothies and low-sodium soup can help you cut back on calories yet feel full.
25.A pedometer can help keep track of your steps. If you're not getting 10,000 steps a day, you're not moving enough.
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Mind those thoughts.
Your thoughts become your actions, we've all heard it. This coming week, my new thing will be meditating. Let's see if we can get these thoughts in check and master our actions.
A word on jumping.
When we trod on grounds built from the residues of disappointment... We walk with care. We move forward with reservations, we make way for the very floors upon which we walk, to capsize without notice... Life experience keeps teaching us the areas of our lives where we cannot afford to be "uninsured" or without security. Strangely enough though, these are also the very same areas that require of us to break free from the constant concern and obsession over the unstable floor. These areas depend on our willingness to have total disregard of the idea of things possibly going wrong. Dilemma much?
In moving through both these spaces - of caution and of "courage"- we GROW.
So this week passed...I have grown a little. Lol.
The scars of disappointment, though very hurtful, build us. They teach us subtle (sometimes extreme) lessons not about the world, and other people...but about ourselves. They highlight the things about ourselves that need to be worked on and the pockets of our reflections that need tweaking. How we handle ourselves in moments of disappointment, and how we recover from them, writes the scripts of our characters.
And it is the strong character that inspires our courage to risk disappointment to win freedom, to win happiness...to GROW!
I do not jump off of cliffs (we're speaking metaphorically... Just in case there are those already squinting at why I would assume that that would even be a natural thing for me to be pointing out. I mean Theri of course you don't jump off of cliffs), I have issues with with not being on solid ground. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do anything extreme... I'm that girl who feels it is her duty to tend to everyone she holds dear, to cater to anyone I appoint as one of my cherished ones. Look I can't help it, I'm a nurturer at heart...this is just what I do...I nurture. Can I not be judged please. With that said, to me, making a decision to be a little selfish is a big deal for me...I tend to feel very guilty about doing things that benefit no one other than me (I know), but I did it anyway AND IT WAS DELIGHTFUL AND FREEING. I bought a milk tart knowing full well I'm the only one in this place who eats it... No I'm just kidding...it was much bigger than that...it was a chocolate cake...
...No I'm just kidding, lol, it was an actual, serious matter that would later result in someone taking note that I will not be sacrificing any of my smiles for any longer (serious grown bi'nis hehehe).
I jumped, I smiled, I GREW! That should just about some up my emotional state of mind for the week.
Lesson learnt: to allow yourself the luxury of joy, you will have to open to liberating yourself from the routine habits that have crowned you a "push over". By all means, love, give, care and nurture...freely so, but under no means does any of this have to translate into relationships or friendships where you either give OR take as opposed to give AND take. Put your foot down! Let people know that if you are to go above and beyond for them, their failure to appreciate this act WILL result in this privelledge being taken away. BE HAPPY!...IT'S ALLOWED...IT'S VITAL.
In moving through both these spaces - of caution and of "courage"- we GROW.
So this week passed...I have grown a little. Lol.
The scars of disappointment, though very hurtful, build us. They teach us subtle (sometimes extreme) lessons not about the world, and other people...but about ourselves. They highlight the things about ourselves that need to be worked on and the pockets of our reflections that need tweaking. How we handle ourselves in moments of disappointment, and how we recover from them, writes the scripts of our characters.
And it is the strong character that inspires our courage to risk disappointment to win freedom, to win happiness...to GROW!
I do not jump off of cliffs (we're speaking metaphorically... Just in case there are those already squinting at why I would assume that that would even be a natural thing for me to be pointing out. I mean Theri of course you don't jump off of cliffs), I have issues with with not being on solid ground. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do anything extreme... I'm that girl who feels it is her duty to tend to everyone she holds dear, to cater to anyone I appoint as one of my cherished ones. Look I can't help it, I'm a nurturer at heart...this is just what I do...I nurture. Can I not be judged please. With that said, to me, making a decision to be a little selfish is a big deal for me...I tend to feel very guilty about doing things that benefit no one other than me (I know), but I did it anyway AND IT WAS DELIGHTFUL AND FREEING. I bought a milk tart knowing full well I'm the only one in this place who eats it... No I'm just kidding...it was much bigger than that...it was a chocolate cake...
...No I'm just kidding, lol, it was an actual, serious matter that would later result in someone taking note that I will not be sacrificing any of my smiles for any longer (serious grown bi'nis hehehe).
I jumped, I smiled, I GREW! That should just about some up my emotional state of mind for the week.
Lesson learnt: to allow yourself the luxury of joy, you will have to open to liberating yourself from the routine habits that have crowned you a "push over". By all means, love, give, care and nurture...freely so, but under no means does any of this have to translate into relationships or friendships where you either give OR take as opposed to give AND take. Put your foot down! Let people know that if you are to go above and beyond for them, their failure to appreciate this act WILL result in this privelledge being taken away. BE HAPPY!...IT'S ALLOWED...IT'S VITAL.
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