Shall we call them "mobile survival kits"?...hhmmm?

I fear I may be past the point of having grown emotionally attached to my handbag though.

It’s understandable of course, I mean this (not so) little pouch houses what could ultimately be considered my entire life…you know?

It’s my pharmacy, my bank, my bathroom, my kitchen, my home affairs…

Harbouring everything from Identity documents to deodorant and even an emergency apple,

(yes I have an apple roaming around in there, my friend Tshire has one too in hers so I don’t feel weird about it, not one bit. You never know when you might be stranded and malnourished, lol)

I’m just always ready like that.

“Ladies why do you need those things? Why can’t you just take what you need in your pockets?”

Ok wait hang on, I’m planning on wearing leggings today, can I use your pockets?

Here… hold my mascara, my eyeliner, my lip balm, my pocket tissues, my sanitary wipes, my phone, my purse, my emergency earrings (yes I did), my hand lotion, my waterless hand wash, my shades, my keys, my pain killers, my panty-liners, my tampons, my intimate wipes, my scent wand, my gum, my comb, my emergency just-enough-to-get-me-from-the-office-to-the-car umbrella (unless of course there are strong winds, then it won’t help me, it’s not strong enough to sustain such. It’s just to protect my hair shame poor thing), these earphones, some of these tollgate-change coins loitering around in here…

Oh and wait…what shall we do with my emergency apple?

*POUT…RAISED EYEBROW*

I didn’t think so *rolls neck*

Without my handbag,

I feel naked and exposed,

I feel insensible,

I feel unprepared,

I feel…I feel…

I feel incomplete man.

There’s something very survivoresque (new word) about my handbag though (note my habitual excessive use of the word “though”…I’m getting help for that)

Something very superwoman (if my life played like in the movies, this would be the part where Beyonce’s “run the world” would be jamming in the back)

Something very “Maybe she’s born with it”

Something very “the devil wears prada”

Something very…

Very…

*slaps tongue*

“everybody calm the fudge down…I’ve got this”

My handbag is my Chuck Norris.

What amazes me is how I got to this girl (by this girl I mean the girl I am now)

I used to be so nonchalant about all this…

Ok maybe not “amazed”, but it’s interesting…

If you ha told me 4 years ago that the first thing I’d save in a fire is a handbag, I would have punched you in the face for talking smack!

(This is of course just an expression I don’t fight)

I believe the term to use is “I have blossomed into a young lady” …so cliché.

It’s strange the contrast between who I am now, and who I was then…

A good kind of strange, but strange none-the-less.

I love this girl I’ve become, she’s so liberal, uninhibited… I like her.

She never leaves the house without her handbag, lol.

(have you ever noticed that the acronym “lol” looks like a person with their hands in the air? Nudge nudge to my girl Fifi)

I’ve just smiled at a part of me… this all inspired by finding life…in a pouch

But my handbag though *claps once*

Boy Pleeeez!

This man sends me into a menopausal state though

Got me out here with my face catching a young hot flush and my cheeks burning up…

makin’ me catch a fever like that.

He must’ve lost his damn mind, walking into the privacy of my mind like that,

Doesn’t he know though?

You don’t have a lady flustered like that, you’ll make a lady lose her mind like that.

How dare he have me scrambling my words like that?

I mean I’m little miss “I-can-construct-a-sentence-in-my-sleep”,

Now I’m out here getting my tenses wrong, pronouncing my words different,

Getting this grammar thing completely failed.

“I’m fine and you thanx?”…

*closes eyes and slaps forehead*

uhhmmm can we do that again… I really wasn’t ready that time.

I’m not usually like this you know?

How dare he have me standing here working this hard to maintain composure.

*Three tier finger snap*

No

            he

didn’t

* pouts*

This man though

This man (must have) cast a spell on me though

Uhhm excuse me sir, I’m really not tryina smile right now,

I’m supposed to be pulling a diva stance right now,

I’m on my Naomi Campbell pout right now

My Maya Angelou walk straight, put a subtle swing in your hip and a little click in your heal and a spring in my step,

Don’t that make me look a little phenomenal right now?

What do you meeeeeaan “hey beautiful how you doin’?”

I cannot afford to blush with these defined cheekbones getting all rosey and plump right now,

I am trying to look vogue thank you very much

*clicks tongue*

How dare he have me walking around here with this glow on my face

*Three tier finger snap*

No

             he

didn’t

* pouts*

This man though

This man is real audacious though

The nerve…what is he doing looking at me?

I am trying exhibit poise and confidence here,

How he has me checking my hair off that reflective surface over there,

Wondering if my outfit is still looking spruced and proper like it did in the mirror earlier

He better not smile at…

*gasps*

He smiled… how selfish

Now I’m over here feeling all tingley and teenage

Excuse me sir… can we please just respect my pose right now?

This man: “lookin’ beautiful as always”

HOWWWWW DAAAARRRRREEE YYYOOOOUUU…

Theri: “thank you, you don’t look too shabby yourself”

Aaahhhh crap, I just blushed

Why does he do this?

I do not freak out…

He better ask somebody

Got me out here getting sparkley eyed and disoriented

Putting me on that India Arie train living out that brown skin typa tip

(except he’s more of a caramelish hazel type of brown)

But “everytime he comes around, something magnetic pulls me and I can’t get out”

Can I be allowed to stay together though? Gee whizzz.

This man though…

With all his wholesome deliciousness (it’s not a real word I know),

His well groomed gorgeousness,

All that handsome attractiveness (that one too)

…if I don’t see him today I’ll definitely miss him,

If I don’t see him today I’ll catch a proper young depression…

aaahh snap! Is that a zit?

Please let him not come by here today… please please please universe don’t send him this way today

…ohhhhh shhhiiiiippppp

Look who’s here

We do it all again… and everyday…again.

*calls on Naomi Campbell, Dr Maya Angelou powers and only receives India Arie smiles*

“morning, fine and you thanx?”

*sighs*

That guy John

Someone asked me with wondering eyes and a very sincere voice; “Theri but what are your intentions?”

He caught me by surprise, to say the very least. It was more his tone that startled me than his question. For the first time in a while I had no words (this is a point scary in itself because I am rarely ever at a loss for words…though in my defence, I do need to be around certain people in order to bring out my more gregarious side…I’m not shy or anything, I’m just a little reserved…ok a lot reserved but you catch my drift mos?).

Ok well anyway, I stood their with my mind catching a slight breeze of some sort, I would like to call it a recess of some kind but my mind wasn’t really in recession… there were things going through it, just not as quickly as usual…you know? (Don’t act like you don’t).

Let me just quickly sum up the spectrum of thoughts that pulsed (very softly) through my mind.

First I thought maybe he was trying to make conversation. I have heard on occasion that I seem intimidating (which I strongly question, only because I don’t understand how so) so maybe this was his way of testing whether I was ice cold or if I was actually approachable. But then, why would he test with such a question?

Then I thought he had noticed me feeling my boob, well I wasn’t actually feeling it, that sounds really lonely, lol. It’s more like…see the thing is, it happens almost habitually, like an instinct of some sort, a compulsion even. Hey, some people wash their hands a hundred times in 10 minutes, some go back to lock their cars 5 times in 3 minutes, I…just happen to touch my boob on the rare occasion. It happens real quick, it’s not obvious to the naked human eye, so he couldn’t have… he would’ve smiled or something…I mean he did…but not the way you know?

And since I had thought of every possible explanation for this question (by “every possible” I mean as many as I could possibly be expected to get through in the space of a split second, keeping in mind that I was being watched mind you) there was nothing left to do but pose. So I’m standing there with a blank stare, my head singing a chorus of “errrm’s” and “uhhhm’s” (all this in the space of a split second mind you) but I had a thoughtful look on my face and opted for the smarter response of “I’m not sure I know what you mean”. One must always remain in touch…or at the very least look as if they are, lol.

Then he said… let’s just call him John (no that’s not what he said, this is just a sentence on the side from me) anyway, then John said “you have this way about you, this assured, composed and sort of detached thing (I rolled my eyes at this bit…metaphorically of course, we don’t roll our eyes at people, it’ll hurt their feelings) but when you smile…you have this suspiciously alluring twinkle in you eyes”… well he didn’t say it as eloquently as that but let’s cut him some slack… English isn’t the most forgiving language in the world… to some…and it’s ok. Leave John be please.

I smiled then quickly reverted to my (charming) giggle after realising it was this smile that was putting me in this awkward position to begin with. How do I answer this question? I wasn’t sure where to even begin, I wasn’t sure if it even made sense. i didn't know how to answer it...so i didn't. but remember, one must always remain in touch…or at the very least look as if they are. so i said, "I think you might just be imagining things'.

He shook his head, and after a pause that i think was in tribute to quickly sorting through his p's and q's, he said... "Theri you are like one of those people who make you do things you wouldn't do in your right mind"..to which I replied "a hypnotist?" (yeah I go on with my smart ass self *crowd in the back yelling "yeah you go on wit' yo bad self"*). At this point a lovely lady who happened to be at the end of the rope trying to ignore my conversation with John decided to just jump right in (I didn't mind it, it eased my situation, distributed my discomfort, lol), and she said "i heard you laughing the other day and i also thought it was a little mischievous Theri"...

there was my song again "errmm uhhmm"... outloud this time (silly)

The whole day I was watching my smiles and laughs, plagued by the thought of coming across as suggestive.

It had me thinking about how a smile can speak a million things (in case you missed this lesson at english class...this children, is a hyperbole), I've spent a great deal of my time smiling at people I see in the hallways and by ways, not even consciously aware, and this whole time...this WWHHOOLLEE time... I had been communicating a message this deep, lol. It makes me wonder how many lives I may have changed, how many souls I may have offended, how many smiles I may have encouraged and what my contribution to anyones life may have been, just with my smile.

I'll always smile, of course, mischievous and suggestive or not...but I think after having this thought for tea and biscuits, I resolve to smile consciously. Smile as though I'm smiling to an actual human being...a person... a life (i mean I am obviously, but I mean...to be actually aware of people i cross paths with as opposed to just going through the motions...you know?). With these teeth, this cute arrangement of wide, sharp, slightly crooked (just one is crooked and it's sort of at the backish...so *puts a hand in a haters face* lol) choppers, I will change the world... save lives... make manifest the orders of divinity (again with the drama...you already know shem).

From John I take this lesson: smile consciously... be aware at all times that you are speaking to others' universes, your smile is your message, and your message has impact... small or big, this impact sends ripples through the pond that is another persons soul. make it count. of course John didn't consciously (I know, I know... somewhere on the other side of this note is a slick Rick saying "so conscious is the word of the day then?"...note: that slick Rick is me) teach me this...he's probably not even aware that I spent a whole day taking our mini conversation...in which case his words help stress my point about touching lives. But he has left me with a lesson i will teach my children someday.

I thought I'd share this with you all. In case your ponds need some rippling :)

I love you all and if you need one, here's a day's worth supply of smiles *throws day's worth supply of smiles*... even if you don't need them... take one anyway... or whatever (I've always wanted to be one of those people who finish off all of their sentences with "or whatever" but instead I became the ones who finish of with "in my life right now"... e.g. "I need the bathroom...in my life right now", it doesn't make sense, but I go H.A.M on it *H.A.M= hip hop term, not pork, i thank you..."in my life right now")

Anyway...I love you or whatever

...in my life right now

No that's enough now... bye dears.

FW: ALLOW ME A MOMENT TO CATCH A FEELING

HELLO MY DAHHHHHLINZZZ!!

Let me just start off by apologising for the lengthy period between this and the last post. Hallelujah! Lol

But welcome to it… askies mmkay!

It’s Monday morning and already two friends have been through situations that have forced me to confront how easy it is to make meaningful connections as well as how easy (however painful) it is to lose them… ok maybe the word confront is a bit too aggressive in describing my space right now, but if you’re a regular visitor to my blog then I gather you have already picked it up that I tend to get A BIT overly dramatic about things… SOMETIMES (with strong emphasis on the letters in capital letters thank you very much).

It seems only fitting that this would be my first blog post for the year (it’s a little late I know, and it’s been a while… I know that too, but we’re here now aren’t we?).

I think I may have already said this before, but, everyone who walks through the doors of our lives has been divinely ordered to do so. No encounter with anyone happens by accident or coincidence. We serve purposes in each others lives whether or not we consent to those purposes… whether or not we even acknowledge these purposes.

This is a gorgeous theory I think… well sometimes not so sexy, but for the most part, I think it’s absolutely beautiful.

Let me explain (I am tearing up a little bit writing this and might I say, this is an absolutely inappropriate time and space for me to be catching emotions).

I have built incredible friendships and indulged in absolutely loving connections with people I have not spent too much time with… also with people I have not physically met (yes, I’m part of the cyber generation… I will not be judged, lol), and these friendships have grown to feel like I have known these connections all my life. I have crowned some of these souls siblings… family. I have recognised myself in so many of these people and I find it quite overwhelming the thought that the love I feel for these absolutely amazing souls might exist for me with others.

The idea that I might mean the world to someone I have not had the pleasure to meet. The thought that anyone of these cyber people that I speak to so casually and maybe even without conscious regard< might have put me on their list of loves and chosen family. It just goes to show how strong an impact we all have on each other and how easy love comes (I’m talking about that real love that’ll kick somebody’s asssssssssss ‘fo they let a punk disrespect their people #gangster face#... yes, I watch a lot of tv).

I was saying… people come into our worlds to serve a purpose, and sometimes, that purpose is not meant to carry on forever. Difficult as may be, one must learn to respect the purpose served and the exit of the server. One must let others leave with love, genuine love. Pause… am I the only person that thinks the use of “one” makes it all sound so pretentious? Lol. But it seems a little fancy I think… not too much, but fancy still, lol.  Anyway, people are going to leave, and when they do, it has (recently) started to seem a little childish to start a hate foundation in their honour. Let them leave, and appreciate the mark they’ve left in your world. Good or bad, pretty or ugly, this mark is not an accident. Heaven is always at work, and always in our favour. Learn to love the beauty and the pain of every connection made. THEY WILL ALWAYS BUILD YOU…ALWAYS!!

This is not a revelation…in fact some might consider this somewhat clichéd… but just in case anyone might not hear this anywhere else… I’m saying it.

Of the many takes on what the year 2012 will represent… I have settled on 20self… I’m taking this year personally. Makes sense then that this whole making genuine connections thing would turn me into a cheeseball. I will not apologise for that, lol.

So then… to the friends I have carried with me for all my life… or somewhere close to that length, the new friends and the friends I have not met (may we meet before judgement day, in case we are separated into different temperatures of the afterlife, lol)… I have turned you all into family, I have loved you all as I love myself and I hold you dear. Thick and and thin, I love you all.

To those that have already fulfilled their purposes in my life…thank you. I may or may not yet have reached the lesson you left for me, but I am forever greatful for those intersections at which we were introduced.

I feel truly blessed and so favoured that the good Lord continues to let my path intertwine with the paths of others, that His love for me (clears throat at tries to compose the waterworks) ensures I am not island. You souls…you beautiful souls have made my life so colourful, the drama, the joys and all the times in between have been memorable. And with all the love I have in me, from the deepest part of the healthiest bit of my medulla oblongata (this biological term was not in the cards when I was still ruling the spelling bee teasts in my junior years, so if it’s wrong…I’m sorry), with every fibre of my being, every ounce of my soul (I don’t know what we measure the soul with so I’ll settle for ounce thank you very much)… with everything I have to give… THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH and though it’s a little late, we are still in January so HAPPY NEW YEAR, lol. I hope all of you make manifest all that you’ve planned to achieve, all you’ve planned to be and all you’ve prayed, wished and imagined to experience. I LOVE YOU MY BABIES.

Now go out there and make this another memorable journey. If anyone opposes, tell them all to find themselves a chair and sit their ass down somewhere. As ordered by Queen Theri.

*three tier finger snap*

Yes

I

Did!!